Some people love the winter: huddling by warm fires; wrapping up in scarves, hats and gloves; and the winter sun casts a beautiful light. But it’s not for me. Real fires make my throat hurt; I don’t want to spend hours putting on thousands of layers of clothes, plus I quite like to move my arms; and winter sun only comes out for a few hours a day, and that’s if you live in the south east. You are bloody lucky to see any sunshine at all in the north west.

Oh how I loathe the winter. I like daylight, you can actually go out in the summer after 4pm and do stuff, such as walk across fields, through woods or along the coast. If you go for a walk afer 4pm in the winter in the countryside you will only last five minutes before being run over, head butting a tree or falling off a cliff. I hate being cold, I hate getting colds. I really, really detest Christmas, and then this is followed by the horror that is January. Then there is February, a month that has no point at all. But the worst, the absolute worst, thing about winter, is getting up in the morning.

Despite my moaning, I quite enjoy life, but when my evil alarm wakes me up in the middle of the night (okay, around half seven, which is as late as I can make it), I feel like death. I then want to spread some death by killing whichever evil bastards have decreed that work life should start so fucking early in the morning. I am not a morning person, but it is my kids I feel most sorry for. They should report me to NSPCC for forcing them to get up while they are still dreaming. By 9am, we are all supposed to have our brains in full working order and raring to go. This is a ridiculous idea. We should still be fast asleep.

I understand that society might find it difficult to restructure school and work days to start much later in the day, so I am prepared to compromise and even get up before midday. I suggest that working days begin at 11 in the winter. There is no need for them to finish later, because we could save time by never taking unnecessary breaks (who needs to go to the loo? Especially if you haven’t stopped to have a coffee). I am sure we will still get as much work done, us night owls will be much happier and nicer to be with, and other people might even smile at you on the commute to work. Apart from in London, of course.

If the 11am start catches on, perhaps it could even be extended to the summer. Because who wants to work when it’s hot?